


Well thats embarrissing

by NeysaG



Category: Dragon Age II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 14:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1821208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeysaG/pseuds/NeysaG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Embarrassing things Anders had removed from peoples' asses at his clinic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well thats embarrissing

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written anything before. Not sure why I chose to go with this strange idea but there it is.

“A key?!” Varric couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“And that’s not even the weirdest thing I’ve had to remove from my patients butts” Anders said

“I don’t know if I even want to know.”  
Anders giggled “no you probably don’t.” With a grin on his face Anders continued. “Last week a coterie thief was in my clinic needing the jewelry he stole from some Hightown noble removed. I refused the ring he offered me as payment.”

Despite the disgusted look on Varric’s face Anders didn’t stop there.

“Once back in the circle one of the Templars came into the infirmary with tongs hanging out of his arse. Then the next morning I was walking past Knight-Commander Greagoir office and I heard one of the kitchen staff complaining about the missing tongs. Turns out it wasn’t the first time they went missing either.”

Varric begged Anders not to continue “Please no more. I really don’t want to know.” But Anders took no pity on the dwarf. 

“I had one patient who said his butt was itching really bad and decided to scratch it.”  
Varric groaned and hid his face in his hands.

“So he decided to use an arrow. But once he got it in he couldn’t get it back out. Then there was this time…” 

“No No I don’t want to know any more Anders. Keep it to yourself.” And with that remark Varric left Anders clinic. He needed a drink or five to get those images out of his head.


End file.
